Pensive

Just doing some housework. Thinking.
Pondering my life.
My Sir.
Our relationship.
My jealousy.
Wish I could submit without experiencing so much fear.
I want to be his.
When I let go completely, I panic.
Especially if I see him giving attention to someone else, or if I see someone giving him attention.
Part of me is afraid he will like them better. Not that they are better than me. but just that he would enjoy being with them more than being with me.