My message to Sir

I'm just not up to it (aquafit), I did really consider going anyway, headache, nausea, and diarrhea. And I'm freezing cold. So I'm under my blankets. Just resting. But I really do want to thank you for pushing me a little. I do need that. Sir, I'm wondering, if you feel like I'm too much work for you, you know, like you were saying last night about subs who are so needy. And about you not identifying as a Dom. I do want and need rules and boundaries and discipline. But I also don't want to burden you with things you don't want. If you don't want the added responsibilities, I need to know that  I need you, as my Sir, to be my leader. I need structure and I need to know that you care enough to not let me away with bad behavior. I need to know that you are, and want to be, in charge, sometimes I need a reminder of that. It doesn't even need to be anything big. Just a reminder that You make the decisions and not me. I need that to feel safe and secure with you. Anyway, I know this is long and you'll say I'm ranting again lol. I love you Sir, I love being with you. I want to always tell you what I need, well, if I know that is,  and I hope that you would do the same.

He called. He says, I'm not to worry. That he loves me. He says he's learning that I need him to put his foot down. Especially about aquafit. He says there is no reason for me to doubt. But that he does want me to tell him, if I start feeling that way.
I'm so very lucky to have him. He's an amazing man.

Soothing calming comforting cock.

We played, on Tuesday, happiness abounds. ;)

He put me into subspace. I never realize that I'm in subspace until i come back down. He fucked me, made me gush over and over. My clit is tingling just thinking about it. mmm... So fucking good!
But this... This is when it got... interesting...

He told me to suck his cock again.
I crawled down, between his legs so I could put his whole cock down my throat. I began fucking my face with his cock, moving my head up and down as I normally do, but then, I lied my head down and sucked him in like I was sucking on my thumb. I began suckling from him like I was sucking milk from him. It didn't make him hard, it made him relaxed. I enjoyed every second of it, his breathing slowed, his body relaxed. For me, It was so calming I felt comforted, soothed, the sucking motion hypnotizing me. Each moment was all there was. My sucking motion, our relaxed breathing. I was in heaven. All I wanted was to stay curled up between his legs, his cock in my mouth gently and lovingly suckling him. I continued for a very long time, i don't even know how long, i was disconnected from reality, he actually fell asleep. And I love love loved it. I was completely and utterly relaxed suckling on his cock thoroughly enjoying the feeling of his warm semi hard flesh filling my mouth. I didn't want to stop when he told me to. I didn't want to take my mouth off of his cock. The way he filled my mouth, like that's where his cock should be, I wish I was sucking his cock now. I wish I could fall asleep with his cock in my mouth just suckling him like that. The memory of It does make my clit swell and throb and makes me want to cum, but it's more than that. It made me HIS.
It was simply an amazing experience. I did realize, a little later, once I had floated back down to reality, that I must have been in subspace that whole time because the experience was so surreal.
That has never happened to me before while sucking a cock.
Fuck I wish his cock was in my mouth, right now. I want to feel that way again. mmm (happy sigh).

Phones grrr

I hate it when I write a post and then my phone shuts off

When he calls

To say goodnight.
He fills my heart with happiness. ;)

New development :)

Tonight I made dinner for Sir and his boys. I usually make dinner for Sir, but this was the first time I made it for the boys too. And they liked it :). That makes me very happy.
I made chicken broccoli divan so yummy. And cracker crack for dessert.

One of his boys (I think he said L) told him "I'm glad that Julie is in your life" :)

How things have changed in a few short months.

With his son's approval I think he'll be more relaxed about loving me.
He was very proud of me tonight I think. :)

Sweet Dreams

That's what he says to me every night when he calls, just before we hang up.
(happy sigh)

I'm very happy to be his.

Sometimes the worry monsters still invade my brain but mostly they're kept in check.

I love him.
I hope we stay together for a very long time. :)