I'm Safe

Apparently a person can feel so happy they want to burst and also so sad it makes them cry at the exact same time.

I know it's true because I'm doing it right now.
I went on Fet this morning onto my ex-husband's profile (after G had told me not to)
G reprimanded me.
SMH
I loved it, and hated it at the same time.
I really want to understand these feelings.
When he said the words.
"You will not be allowed on Fet tomorrow... We just had this discussion yesterday... If you had asked permission before hand, that would be different."
Those words and his tone all at once made me deliriously happy deep in my being, but also, I realized at that moment that I had been disrespectful (I didn't see it that way before) and that realization made me cry.
The punishment of staying off Fet did not make me cry, I mean, I don't like it, but it was the absolute remorse I felt for disobeying him. I'm so glad I told him. I would not want to keep anything from him.
He is my everything.
He is my Sir.
I am his property.
I need to remember that.
My will is no longer my own.
I must (and I want to) learn to obey and be a better submissive.

This night was amazing.
Even though all the feelings were not completely positive, they were/are ones that I needed.
I need to be reprimanded when I break the rules, else why have rules. It proves to me that he truly loves me and cares for.

I love my Sir so much.
I think I felt his love for me more strongly tonight then I ever have before. I feel so loved and cared for.

I'm safe. *sigh*
;)