I am so frustrated and angry!!!

Just had an argument with G.
He made me so very angry.

I was trying to be honest with him about my feelings.... I was trying to be open with him... and now he's mad at me! FFS!

I have been wanting him for two days, needing a release, feeling so very frustrated and not able to focus on things or think straight. I get like that, and he knows it.
I am not allowed to cum without him, so I have to wait for him.
So he messages me that him and his wife just had great sex.
Wonderful, good to know! WTF!!!!
It made me so mad.
So frustrated. I have been waiting, wanting, suffering.
I told him how I was feeling....
I said I wanted to go and watch TV so I could calm down.
I guess that made him mad.


I don't even want to have sex with him now!
But I actually do want to so badly and that is my biggest issue!
Now it's a bad thing, as always my sex drive is a bad thing that I should be ashamed of.
Even with him. I thought this would be different. But it's not. He doesn't want me either.
Now I may not get any tonight either!
I am so frustrated I just want to lash out at everything and everyone!



He has logged out and is not talking to me.

now he comes back and says... my misbehavior is not acceptable!!!!!
What the fuck ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MY misbehavior!!!!?????

now he says

I do love you.

Whatever!
just makes me cry
I am so alone. I feel like such a piece of garbage. I was reaching out to him for help and he basically slaps me in the face!!!!!!!!!!
He is my only way to release all of this tension that builds up in me.
I am not allowed to do anything to help myself.
It's not fair that he is mad at me now!

Now I am so upset, I can't stop crying.

He should be trying to help me, not punishing me.
He has really let me down,

This is the feeling I hate, I hate hate hate!!!
When I am so aroused, and needing sex so much and it just leads to a fight and anger.