I'm not like "them" I'm like ME!

Finally had time with G today.
Not a long time, but still it was amazing.

Then I go and fuck it up.
Lost my temper.

I asked him if he would send me an old shirt of his. His response was...
"You want one of my shirts?"
It sounded to me like he thought I was insane for asking such a thing.
He said nothing more about it, while we were on the phone, he just immediately said he had to go.
That bothered me. So I texted him...
This is our conversation...

__________________________
Me:
I hope I didn't scare you with my request. I was thinking, just an old shirt that doesn't fit you anymore that you would just give away anyway. Just to feel closer to you, just to have something that your hands have touched. Does that sound too weird to you. I have read that submissives in LDRs find it comforting.

Him:
That isn't weird at all baby girl. Andrea has two or three of my t-shirts

(That really got to me, it bugs me that he's always comparing me, our relationship, to his other women, or his previous submissives)

Me:
Grrr. Ugh!
I understand. But dammit!

Him:
What do you mean baby girl?

Me:
I wish you'd quit relating EVERYTHING we do to what you did with Andrea. *sigh*
Good for fucking her!!! I don't care if she has your whole damn wardrobe

Him:
I can do that baby. I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt your feelings

Me:
It's fine

Him:
I won't bring it up anymore unless you ask about her

Me:
I know it was an innocent comment
It's not jealousy
You don't hear me saying, oh ya, I did that with Marc. Or whoever. Just making the point that its NOT jealousy

And if you sent her shirts, then why the stunned reaction when I mentioned it? I know your busy, I don't expect you to answer right now

Him:
That did piss me off just a little bit. You need to know that
And I don't see anything in my comments it indicates a stunned reaction.

Me:
It's not in the comments
We were on the phone

Him:
I'll talk to you when I get free

Me:
Fine

(Then me, being afraid of him being angry at me and leaving me)

Me:
I'm sorry, I got angry. I love you.
________________________

*sigh*
I just want to be me...
I want us to be us.

I just hate hearing...
"You're just like this person"
Or
"ya we can do that... I did that with so and so."

I don't know if he understands that.

I have nothing against Andrea.
I love that he is still close with her, it tells me that he won't just forget about me. It's not about her. I like when he tells me how she's doing. She's important to him. What's important to him is important to me.

What  I don't like is that he brings her up, and not just her, but others, in a comparative context.

I am unique. I am special.
I'm not "like" (whoever).
I'm like ME!

We talked. But I think he's still mad at me, he says because I went on about it. But I think it's because I appeared to be disrespecting Andrea.
Wasn't my intention.
But it does get under my skin.
Apparently she was perfect and no one could ever be as good, or as nice or as wonderful or as submissive as she was.
*sigh*
I guess, maybe, it's because she never showed jealousy, so he never had to deal with it. Because she was not as needy as me. I don't know.
I do feel like I'm always trying to live up to her seemingly perfect track record.
"Andrea never did ___  "
"Andrea was so good at ___"
"Andrea was the love of my life"
"Andrea invited my other submissive over for thanksgiving"
"Andrea is a good Christian woman"
"Andrea is a virgin and saving herself for marriage" (however if she's ever used a dildo than that's BS)
Andrea!
Andrea!
ANDREA!!!!!!!!!

I AM SO SICK OF HEARING HOW I AM OR AM NOT "LIKE" ANDREA!!!
I AM SICK TO DEATH OF HEARING HOW HE DID "WHATEVER IT IS WE'RE DOING" WITH ANDREA!
SMH
UGH!!

Ranting over. I know sometimes I get carried away. I just felt so frustrated.

He did apologize.
Said he didn't see it as comparing.
And well, it was more that he was/ has associated things we do, things I ask, back to his relationship with Andrea.
I don't know if he even knew why he was apologizing.

Perhaps I am too much for him to handle. I do try to be good.
*sigh*

Oh and I just remembered.

Andrea and him wrote the most wonderful and special role play that could ever have been written! 

So I have nothing to give him.

He has already had the best, anything else, anyone else, pales in comparison.