Sad

I think, I’m lonely. I have lots of friends. But, lately I’m feeling very lonely. Like just the last couple of days. A profound sadness that I’m fighting against.

I love this new Dom, so much, his smile warms my heart. I know he doesn’t feel the same way about me and that makes me sad. I do know that he cares for me and enjoys my company.

Why, why can’t I just enjoy being his friend, playing with him, singing with him, taking what he’s able to give, why does it have to make me so sad.
I can’t tell him that I’m in love with him.
I think he’d cut off ties with me.
He’s terrified of  getting into a relationship right now. He’s been hurt, very badly. I so much want to ease his heartache. He’s such a good man. He deserves so much more than he’s had.

I’m a little sad today, I’m not really sure why.
I got to spend several hours with my Dom friend. I do very much enjoy talking with him.
But something about today made me sad.
I feel like crying, like I’ve lost something;(
I do know, sometimes feelings are just feelings and they don’t really mean anything. They can disappear as quickly as they appear.
Maybe it’s just that I want to play with him so badly.

I’m in love with him

I’m in love with him!
My Sir recognized it even before I did.
I admit it.
I am madly in love with him!  Even though I told him I wasn’t. But, The thing is,I can’t tell him because he’s afraid he’s been hurt and I don’t want to scare him away. I don’t want to cause him stress or pain I only want to bring him happiness.I enjoy his company so much. I enjoyed his friendship. His smile makes my heart flutter.

He’s a good man. A man of integrity. A man you can trust. He has my upmost respect.

We still haven’t had sex. But I really really want to. I mean I have had his cock in my mouth LOL. But I really want to be with him, I want to have that intimacy with him.

But I would choose not to if it meant that I would lose his friendship.