Feeling Irritable

Not sure why.

Just spent some time with G.
It was nice. It was not the same as usual.
Not sure if it was me or if it was him that was not really into it.
I did cum. And it was a release. But as I think back, something was missing.
Perhaps he was distracted. Perhaps I was not relaxed. I don't know.

I guess I can't expect every single time to be earth shattering.

Perhaps I am just bitching because I am trying to quit smoking and only using the e-cigarette.
Cause you know, it must be me, my fault. Always. *sarcasm*

Thinking about G and his baby girls.
He has been having some "issues" with one of them. No contact, and it seems as if she is lying about her internet. When a baby girl lies to their Dom, they are no longer their Dom, just my opinion.
If you want to and can without qualms lie to a person and keep secrets from them, you don't truly respect them. Just my opinion.

You know what just occurred to me... about the sex G and I just had.
I didn't gush, hardly at all, I mean a little, but the towel isn't even wet. Huh. Maybe that's why I am frustrated, feeling irritable. Maybe, I don't know.

I DO NOT want to upset G with my mood. I don't want to be another one of his problems.

He sometimes expresses irritation about his babygirls texting him so much.
I can just imagine what he thinks/says about me.
Maybe I should stop, slow down, not message him so much. Or try to. I don't know.
I am just in a mood. probably the change in nicotine delivery. So in my opinion, now is not a good time to make any changes or decisions.

I know it wasn't because he mentioned one of them. I was irritated before that. That's why I think it's just me.

oh...  you know what....  it just occurred to me... our cybersex was vanilla... very very vanilla
I wonder if that is what is making me feel frustrated. I mean.... I want a Dom not a lover.... If I wanted vanilla sex there are many men here I could get it from....

hmmm maybe.... maybe I will need to talk with G about this afterall... but not tonight. Another day after I think about it more.

or maybe... maybe he didn't really want to... I mean... he wanted to... but maybe he was doing it more for me... maybe that's what I sensed...

Maybe he didn't cum. I don't know. I think I'll ask him.

The fact is, our time together did not have the desire affect on me.
The reason for that is currently unknown.

I think I may have just figured it out....
Grizz needs to behave more dominantly towards me.
He is letting me away with too much.
He is treating me like a girlfriend and not a submissive and that is making me feel insecure.
Ok well, that is my theory. Anyway.

I had something to eat.
Feeling better.
Maybe I was just hungry.