I don't like waiting, makes me sad

MlWaiting while he's probably sexually satisfying one of the others, instead of being with me. "I" need him.
Makes me mad!
Makes me want to hit something!
But then....
I don't even know that "That" is what he's doing, instead of being with me.
But, I don't know that it isn't. And just the knowledge that it very well could be is enough to make my blood boil.
I don't want him to want them!!!!!!!
I want him to want me!!!!!!!!
So here I am, in my bed, alone, miserable, waiting, simmering, even though he has no idea. While he is off with one of his other women. Makes me feel like I am a fool. A fool for putting so much of myself into this relationship. The fact is, he's too busy with his wife and other girls. He simply does not have time for me, I am not his priority. He wants and has too many women. He cannot or will not give me what I need because he's too busy with others. :(
Very sad.

He says.... I chase windmills.... Perhaps.
Or perhaps I am blinded by my love for him most of the rest of the time. 
I'm sad.
Sad that he does not have the same desire to say good night to me, as I have to say goodnight to him.
He forgets me. Goes to bed. To sleep without even a thought of me. I have to beg to hear his voice - just so that I can sleep.
I should not have to beg, not have to remind him. "Hey, Bill, over here! Remember me??" He should have the desire himself. But he just doesn't. He forgets me, or else he chooses not to say goodnight to me. :'(

So, he did call, he said they were watching a movie, he said that he couldn't talk to me because she was waiting for him.
So here I am. Alone.
Crying myself to sleep.
Again.
What is the point of this.