This morning

I heard a door in my half asleep state I thought it was Marc. I thought I was, at home..😢. Then I remembered.😢. *sigh*

This bed is so hard. Must be what a prison mattress feels like.

10:48
On Fet. Seriously I should just delete my account, at least while I belong to G. It never ends well. I see things I don't want to see, read things I don't want to read.
Although, I'm not jealous anymore. I think it's because I don't care what he does with other women. Well, that's not entirely true. It does make me sad sometimes. Because I wish I was enough for him but I know I never will be, must be how my H feels. I think it doesn't make me as crazy upset anymore because I have pulled back from him, slightly. Perhaps to protect my heart. He is no longer my single solitary focus. Which is probably a good thing. I was neglecting my children (so they tell me).
It was beautiful. The whirlwind romance we had. It was exciting and amazing and intensely arousing. He definitely rocked my world. Now, our relationship is different. I am calmer. Not clamoring after him for attention. Though still wanting contact with him a lot. I do love him dearly. He has helped me through many upsets.
I was living in a fantasy world. Where he was my Dom and I his adoring submissive. And I loved it. Reality isn't as exciting for sure. But I glad to have him as my friend. And I hope whatever the future brings that he remains part of my life.