Sadness

But no tears.
The feelings are too deep even for that.
What's done is done.
There's no going back and nothing to go back to anyway.
Reasons mean nothing now.
The house that once was my home has burned to the ground.
It's Nothing but ashes now.
And debt. A debt that will be forever owed has taken its place.
It seems a crime has been committed but not the way you might imagine.
The crime was in my experiencing of some fleeting moments of happiness, nigh sheer joy, fulfillment, contentment....
But it's gone, the mundane insanity is also gone.
I am left with naught but memories.
Memories of passion that refused to be quelled.
Memories of submission to the one I worshipped.
It was all just a dream.
The one, as I have painfully come to know, is just a man. Fallible, fault ridden and not entirely trustworthy. He will lie, to anyone, to get what he wants, I have seen, heard, and been the one lied to, so I know.
Is it an addiction. Perhaps.
I still love so many things about him.
So many.