This Morning

This morning I was with G.
I think he really loved my story.
He came 3 times. ;)
I'm very glad he liked it.
Hearing him was truly amazing.
I like that he was so turned on.
It made me feel useful.

He's very busy today.
No time for me really.
He was in a hurry to get me off the phone. I'm feeling pretty lonely. Kind of sad and lost.

I miss my husband. So much.
I wish I could talk with him.
I know, it probably wouldn't turn out well. It never did.
But still.
It's the little things.
The way he made me coffee every morning.
When he used to tuck the covers around me to keep me warm.
Laughing.
Holding me when I cry.
That's when I used to trust him not to hurt me.
But I know I have to accept that, that part of my life is over.
He could snap at any time and kill me. I'm afraid of him.
But still. I miss him.