Reeling from reality

So many things going through my head right now. I'm just still reeling from all that's happened since January.
I'm still with G, we've had a tumultuous love affair to be sure. I just can't quit him. I'm addicted.
If I think about ending it, I start to panic, I don't think I can handle that. At least not right now. G says, he loves me, I think he does but I'm not sure that he's in-love with me. It seems as though he's quite willing to end our relationship, it doesn't seem like it would bother him at all. He would just move on to the next one. I guess that is a healthy attitude, but, it does seem that it prevents a deeper emotional connection.
He gives me a lot. He tries his best. I do know that. I do find it challenging to be able to submit to him sometimes. Perhaps it's just me, learning to be a submissive. I don't know. I think he lacks knowledge of the lifestyle, of D/s dynamics, of the seriousness of sending a sub into sub space, it's not the same thing as just feeling vulnerable after sex, I know because I've experienced both. And it can be dangerous for the submissive if a Dom takes her there, but then doesn't know how to bring her back safely. I think perhaps that's one of the reasons I was having such severe sub drop before. He didn't understand the necessity of bringing me back to reality slowly and gently. In real time my Dom would hold me and comfort me that way. He can't, he can only use his presence, his words to comfort me. He has taken that to heart and he no longer leaves me so quickly. But, he did, the other day, start sending a text, immediately after we finished. He did, I think, realize the affect that might have on me, and he stopped. He said it was to his wife, well first he said lover, perhaps it was. I never know if he's telling me the truth or lying to spare my feelings, you know, so I won't get upset.
The painful truth is always better than a pleasant lie.
But anyway, he realized what he was doing, making me share My time with him with another woman, and he stopped. I was very impressed that he, in that instance, put my needs before his.
I think he is naturally dominant, but I do think he lacks some knowledge of how to be a Dom to a submissive. The psychological impact that a Dom has over a sub. It's not just a vanilla relationship. A sub willingly gives up her control, her will, to her Dom. She becomes dependent on him to make the right decisions for her. If a Dom releases a sub, it can do ever lasting detrimental emotional and psychological damage. It's not a game. Does he understand that? I'm not sure.