It's a tough road

I woke up in a strange bed. Alone. I'm homesick already. I wish he would leave instead of me. But he won't. I want to go home. It makes me cry. I have to lose everything and start over from scratch. How is that fair. It's not. Life is not fair and that's the way it is.
I know that I can't go back. It's going to be hard but it's what I have to do. I am not in love with him anymore. He has wasted all the love I had for him by ignoring me and becoming increasingly antisocial. I'm not going to just sit in that apartment and listen to him go on and on about whatever it is while I wait to die.
I do have fears and doubts. I don't know if what I'm doing is logical.
My daughter has expressed her concerns, after talking with H. But he has nothing to offer me except extreme boredom anger and frustration.