In the middle of the night Saturday June 28th

Dangerous thoughts ahead, enter at your own risk.

You're busy . So I just thought it would take this opportunity to write a little bit in my journal. I actually really enjoy journaling. I used to keep one. Before I met my H. Then, when we got together he read it. He got upset over things from my past, not even things that happened but things that I wished would happen. So. Since I had no privacy I stopped doing it. In my opinion if you read someones private thoughts that they've written down in a hidden book and you get upset about it its your own fault because you are invading their privacy by reading it. Its a little different if it's known that you're going to read it. Even so, You already know that I'm not censoring what I write.

We were talking about punishment. I read a post about it. I think you did punish me. That night when I was up crying all night long pouring my heart out to the liar who said she was my friend and that there was nothing sexual between you. I was devastated because I thought you were angry with me and I thought it was my fault, I thought I was jealous for no reason but now I know, you did it on purpose, you enjoyed having two women fighting over you, but I also know that you regretted it after. We all learn even Doms. You ignored me all night. Now perhaps you weren't exactly angry, but for whatever reason you chose not to respond to my desperate pleas. It was sheer and utter torture. Not punishment. Based on the fact that you have never done that again, I do think that you had no idea how deeply it would hurt me.We were very new to each other at the time. Still are really. Which ... That kind of bugs me even now. I mean. You should have been concentrating on your own newbie sub and her welfare and not somebody else's sub. And then the fact that you reprimanded me when you were lying to me. Ugh! Anyway. Enough of that. Even though you have never admitted to ignoring me that night, I forgive you, well, I actually forgave you a long time ago.

Everything is much better now. I feel very close to you. And I don't believe that you will ever hurt me like that again. (At least I sincerely hope you never will)
I'm going to fall asleep dreaming of being with you in real time someday. I love you so very much.
;)