Very sad

I'm very sad.
Thoughts of asking to be released.
I just can't deal with it.
So many lies.
I don't trust him.
He's still friends with the one that pretended to be my friend but was having sex with him the whole time, he lied, she lied, and he reprimanded me for being jealous of her knowing all the while that he was lying to me. Dancing romantically with her at the Whistle Stop. Still hurts deeply that he was so publicly disrespectful to me.
Usually I don't have to see her profile, but today he put a love on something she wrote.
I just don't know if I can continue to be his submissive if he is still friends with her.
I can't really talk to him about this.
I don't want him to decide to end our relationship while I'm so emotional.
I need to think for a few days.
I honestly don't know what I would do without him. But having her thrown in my face is just not something I can continue to accept.
If I say her or me. He will choose her.
He will say, I don't control him.
Be angry.
So I cannot tell him that I'm thinking of leaving him because of her. I do not want to be a "manipulative bitch" as KC would say. Therefore I cannot threaten to leave if keeps her as his friend. I must decide if I can continue to be his submissive even if he is friends with her. If I can't then I will have no choice but to walk away.
This tears my heart out.
The thought of being without him hurts so much.
But being hurt every time I log in to Fet is just too much.
Every comment to her, every love on her writing is like a slap in the face to me.