Marc

He's been on my mind so much lately.
Thoughts of missing him and missing our apartment.

It wasn't all bad.

I just found out his sister had a stroke.
He loves her a lot. He must be so upset. I wish I could be there for him.

I think I must be dreaming about him because I wake up to thoughts of him, to memories. I start to entertain the notion of reconciling ugh! I know that's not an option. It's very possible that he could snap and kill me.
Part of me is willing to accept that risk.
It's like, if that's my fate so be it.
But why.
Is it because I'm lonely.
Is it because I think I'll never love anyone like I loved him.
I do know that he did love me. Once
Perhaps he hates me now. :(
Perhaps he wouldn't take me back anyway so the point is moot.

I don't think I'd really go back to him. It's just a fanciful notion.