Fet

Always drama. He says, my fault.

Grizz is back on Fet.
I guess him and Jess broke up.
He didn't mention it to me.

My own fault because I can't seem to control my emotions when he's on Fet. I try, but, I can't. He has just lied to me too many times. I don't trust him with other women. He doesn't trust himself, so how can I possibly trust him.

It will be the end of our relationship. That's my prediction.
I can't be just one of many. Even if I want to accept it... I can't. It will kill me.
I can't watch him flirt with women that he's lied to me about, or watch them flirt with him.
It tears my heart into little pieces. The anguish is too much for me to bear.
Even knowing that he is still friends with them is heart wrenching. When I see their names the pain of his lies and betrayal washes over me, engulfs me, choking me. Their presence is a constant reminder that I can't trust him. That I'm not enough for him. It's very hurtful to my self esteem.
I don't see how I can possibly stay his submissive if he needs his Fet account. The two are in conflict.
I will not give him an ultimatum.
I will have no choice but to make the choice for him. I won't ask him to give anything up for me.
It breaks my heart. I love him so.
I can only imagine how horrible my life will be without him. But this just hurts too much and it will never stop hurting.
At least, if I end it, eventually, I will stop hurting so much. Maybe, maybe someday I'd be ok again. If I survive our break up, it may be the death of me. How would I ever survive without him.
I'm so very sad. So very very sad.