When you begin a play session by striking my nipples hard with the crop, I have a very difficult time not using my safe word. It actually makes me want to cry almost instantly. I have negative panicky feelings, and I want you to stop. I've been just dealing, because I wasn't sure what to do.
I feel like, I need a warm up. Am I allowed one?
I'm not sure if that's the goal (getting me to say Red as quickly as possible) I don't know if I should tell you that I don't like it or not, because, if I don't like it, does that mean you will do it more?? I mean, I'm not supposed to "like" it.
So... negotiations... we haven't really discussed much as far as negotiations go, since our first coffee meeting... is the above something we can negotiate?
Aftercare... you are amazing at aftercare, truly. Usually I leave in a state of bliss that lasts for days. I just want to share with you that I have noticed, I need a lot of aftercare. I need your arms around me, protecting me, I need you to (as you do) touch me softly and caress me. It makes me feel OK again. It's like, there's a certain point that I need to get to, so that I can drive away alone and not feel sad/cry. If it seems like you don't want to be near me, that's difficult for me. If I feel like you're in a hurry to get rid of me, it makes me very sad. After we play, it seems I'm very susceptible to believing any sad ridiculous thoughts that might sneak into my head. lol.
I love every second that I've been able to spend with you.
I love being yours.
I am very much looking forward to being at your side in our group of friends, I'm so very proud to be your submissive. I'm a very lucky girl.
I love you.
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