To Mike

Swirling and whirling out of control.
I know on my heart this will take its toll.
In fear at first, one step at a time
Then I jumped right in, but don't worry, I'm fine
What's done is done it's too late now
I'd save myself if I just knew how
You're deep in my heart, and there to stay.
Be we lovers or friends and come what may

To Mike, why I feel unwanted...

It's because, I know, I'm not what you want. It's OK. I still want to play and learn with you, very much so. But I know, you'd rather have (your true desire) is a younger baby girl type. I'm a fun distraction, but that's it. I really like you. You have all of the qualities I love. But, I know, I  fall very short of the qualities that you want... And so I have to keep looking for the right one for me. Maybe I'll never find him, who knows.

His reply:

You shouldn't doubt your worth. We are together now. What the future holds only time can tell. Please don't think I hold you in less regard. Yes I am not giving you my whole heart. I won't be giving that to anyone, I am just not ready.