A wonderful night

I had such a great time tonight with Sir.
Making him dinner and butter Tarts for dessert.
Then watching TV holding hands.
Then he ordered me to the bedroom to suck his cock. mmm
He put his collar on my neck (my clit is twitching just writing this) I love wearing his collar. mmm
Then he had me masterbate with my dildo while sucking his cock, imagining it was another man fucking me. I came, gushed, several times.
But not when he told me to. I'm not sure why. It's what I want. I want him to have complete control over my orgasms. I trust him completely. I'm no longer afraid that he's going to just up and leave me for a baby girl (ok, I'm still a little bit afraid, but it's much much less).
He tells me, "I'm not Grizz" and I know that, but still, I'm very afraid that the same thing will happen.

Ok enough talk of that!!

Back to my wonderful night.

I began to cry while sucking his cock. Odd I know. He told me to come and lie beside him and he put his arms around me.
He said, are those happy tears.
I said, not happy not sad

I was just overwhelmed with emotion of being His property, of being right where I wanted to be. Where I needed to be.
I need to know I'm owned. I need to feel it. I need that submissive rush, head space or whatever you want to call it.
Tonight, he gave that to me. Probably without even realizing he was doing it.

Me knowing that I'm pleasing him is one way that I feel happy. I need to know that what I do pleases him. I told him this and he kissed me on my lips, many times. I love him so.

Master Ryan messaged, him and Stacy broke up (very sad).

I said, I don't like calling him "Master" Ryan, I think I'll just call him Ryan. I said "I know it's silly"
But Sir said, "I don't think it's silly, I quite like that you don't feel comfortable calling someone else Master"
Sometimes I forget, how much little things like that can matter to him.
He's a very sensitive man. He keeps it under wraps as much as he can.
It's one of things I love about him.... He cries during sad movies lol.

I remember the soft touch of his fingers caressing my face. And his kisses.

Tonight I know it's all in my head, I know it's just fantasy, but, I saw a vision of him and I being handfasted and he was crying from joy, such joy on his face like I've never seen. Maybe. Someday. I can make him that happy. :)